Behold the Kickmen game banner

Behold the Kickmen

$3.99
Release Date:
Metacritic:
58
Developer:
Size Five Games
Publisher:
Size Five Games
Platforms:
Windows Mac
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Game Tags

About This Game

BEHOLD THE KICKMEN started as a silly Twitter joke, and evolved like a beautiful flower into the year's least-exciting and mostly-incorrect Football Simulation. It's football, as seen through the eyes of someone with no understanding of, or interest in, the Laws of Football.

Start at the bottom of the Big Boring British Football Spreadsheet system and grind your way up, gruelling match after gruelling match, to become the best at the football that anyone's ever seen, and win the World Cup for your mantelpiece.

FEATURES: Kicking, Passing, Tackling, Squad Management and Doing Goals over and over. There's even a full Story mode, crammed with overblown melodrama and inane decisions to be made.



TWO WAYS TO PLAY! Hate football? No problem! The entire game can be re-skinned at the flip of a switch into a Dystopian Future Bloodsport!

PLEASE NOTE: Kickmen has NO ONLINE MULTIPLAYER and NO LOCAL MULTIPLAYER, it's Single Player ONLY. Please don't buy it thinking it's at all sociable, because it isn't. Why, you ask? Because I wanted to make a Single Player game, I didn't want to make a Multiplayer game.

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User Reviews

Overwhelmingly Positive
1 user reviews
100%
Positive
1 hrs at review
Recommended

[h2]This is just like real football: unbearably stupid.[/h2] If you want to pay £60 to watch me play a match, let me know in the comments. Good game, would recommend.

System Requirements

Minimum

Minimum:
  • OS *: Windows 7 and up
  • Processor: 2.4Ghz
  • Memory: 4 GB RAM
  • Graphics: GeForce 8800 equivalent or higher
  • DirectX: Version 9.0c
  • Storage: 1 GB available space
  • Sound Card: Yes
  • Additional Notes: If playing on a Laptop, please make sure it has a dedicated gfx card; on-board cards will struggle.

FAQ

How much does Behold the Kickmen cost?

Behold the Kickmen costs $3.99.

What are the system requirements for Behold the Kickmen?

Minimum: Minimum: OS *: Windows 7 and up Processor: 2.4Ghz Memory: 4 GB RAM Graphics: GeForce 8800 equivalent or higher DirectX: Version 9.0c Storage: 1 GB available space Sound Card: Yes Additional Notes: If playing on a Laptop, please make sure it has a dedicated gfx card; on-board cards will struggle.

What platforms is Behold the Kickmen available on?

Behold the Kickmen is available on Windows PC, macOS.

Is Behold the Kickmen worth buying?

Behold the Kickmen has 100% positive reviews from 1 players. Metacritic score: 58/100.

When was Behold the Kickmen released?

Behold the Kickmen was released on Jul 20, 2017.

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