Presidential Psychologist

You don’t get to choose when a world leader has a breakdown.
But you do get to choose how badly you fake your way through it.

You are not a licensed psychologist.
You barely passed college.
You once diagnosed your roommate with “vibes-based burnout.”
But thanks to nepotism and a clerical error, you now counsel the President of the Kingdom of Tariffica.

His name? The President.
His hobbies? Tariffs. Coffee. Having a god complex.
His emotional support animal? Himself.

And now, for reasons unknown to man or god, he wants therapy.
From you.

This is a visual novel about talking your way through the most dangerous therapy session in history. You’ll explore deep topics like:

• Emotional walls guarded by tanks

• Presidential nightmares about talking cats

• The ethics of taxing nostalgia

• Whether or not joy should have diplomatic immunity

You’ll lie.
You’ll nod.
You’ll pray the session ends before he finds out you printed your degree on a pancake.

There are eight endings.
Some are tragic.
Some are romantic.
Some involve the president becoming a monk and flying away in Hair Force One.

And yes, one of them ends with you being chased out by armed guards.

THIS GAME FEATURES: 🧠 Over 10,000 words of therapy-grade nonsense
🎭 8 different endings: betrayal, enlightenment, drugs, love, emotional tariffs, and at least one war crime
💬 A branching story where your lies—uh, “choices”—actually matter
📉 Emotional stability not included
🎧 Full-featured options menu (with working volume sliders! We swear!)
🖼️ 1 extremely judgmental sprite and some backgrounds that may or may not be stock photos
📺 Replay unlocked endings to relive your greatest regrets

This isn’t a story about healing.
This isn’t a story about growth.
This is a story about winging it so hard you almost fix a nation.

Play it alone.
Play it with coffee.
Play it before the ethics board finds out what you’ve done.