Crouching Pony Hidden Dragon

Well, the bosses were fun. And it was kind of funny. Let me start by pointing out that the gameplay is shamefully shallow. You have pretty much one attack and will spend most of the game kiting (the melee mechanic is useless, and will get you killed). The color coded-enemies are a nice gimmick, but not enough to make you have to think about which button to mash. You have to mash the button, by the way, you can't hold it down. It made my hand hurt. There's also some elements that are really just lazy. Semi-random enemy spawn instead of custom-built levels. Enemies deal damage to you as soon as their animation starts, instead of having hit detection, which looks and feels really cheap. The rpg elements are VERY poorly implemented. You get xp and level up, but that isn't meaningful because the game is linear and you can't grind. At least, I don't think you're supposed to be able to? None of that is the real reason I couldn't bear to finish the game. Enemy spawns are based on movemen...

Crouching Pony Hidden Dragon is a bare bones Neo Geo port. I didn't notice any upscaling option for the graphics, so Neo Geo quality is what you get. Keyboard controls are customizable, however, and there is an option for coop on the same keyboard. Gameplay consists of color-coordinated top-down brawling that borders on the insanity of a bullet-hell shooter. You must chose whether to play as Pony or Biki (AKA boobs), and after the barest of tutorials (you can walk right past it) you are thrown into the game. You can throw blue shurikens and red ones, and will encounter red, blue, and purple enemies. Red shurikens kill red enemies, blue kills blue, and purple is immune. However, all enemies can be killed at close range with kicks. Any shurikens thrown at the wrong color will come flying back at you, so coordinating in the chaos is paramount. There are additional powers, coins, and watches to collect, and a constant timer at the top of the screen adds pressure that isn't really needed b...

Okay, I was going to write a long review on this, but I think I can fit this in a short review: [list] [*]This game is clunky due to your firing rate being slow, the movement being slow, the lack of a strifing option and the enemies being bullet sponges [*]Good luck trying to level up: It took me until mid second stage to even reach lvl 2. You'll probably be too poor to buy any upgrades by then either [*]The framerate's clunky, the game's juvenile and the animations are quite cringeworthy. [*]Level design: It's easy to get lost, and the indicator arrows don't help. Not to mention they're quite dull [*]The polarity system in this game (red shots and blue shots) is unnecessary and so is the arena mechanic (which is made worse due to the clunkiness) [/list] I tried to stomach the game and beat it, but it's just bad. Levels are tedious, gameplay's slow, and the RPG mechanics are tedious. The game looks bad as well. If there's anything good, I'd say the much is pretty decent for ambie...

- works with Xbox wireless controller - fun beat em up - awesome art and cutscenes - Ninja Power - many powerups - self-immolation - hypnotizing boobs 2 different standard attacks. (hit an enemy of opposing color the star is reflected back. close proxy does a kick on either button) X = blue ninja stars A = red ninja stars if lost follow the arrow above your head.

Great Gameplay Great Artstyle Great Boobs BUY IT

Some people might have some trouble with the game's difficulty , but since it's supposed to mimic old school games, this is to be expected - I'd even say that it's a requirement for a "retro" game to be a little on the hard side ;) If you stick with it though it's really worth the effort: the game really comes into its own after the first couple of levels which are actually some of the hardest! Even so the game's surreal sense of humour is worth playing for in itself, and the pacing is good for the mid- to late-game with some really interesting encounters to deal with as new elements are introduced. Well worth giving a try :)

First try on Crouching Pony Hidden Dragon. The video can be found here: http://youtu.be/miczbksOMnA Before making this video and writing the review I played about 2 levels in the story mode and had some tries in the survival mode as well as some battles with a friend of mine, which come to an accumulative time of about 45 minutes played. So, what is CPHD? It's a beat-em-up in the style of a 90ies arcade game. Since Le Cortex was aiming especially for that style, the options menu is simply a display of the controls for player one and player two, as well as showing how to toggle fullscreen on or off. Concerning the controls it has to be said that when you play it with the keyboard it feels a bit like an arcady/neo-geo controller. So they nailed that really well. The combat is fairly simple, but not that easy. As a ranged attack you have "H" with which you shoot red Ninjastars and "J" with witch you shoot blue ninja stars. In melee range both buttons can be used to take out enemies. Y...

So some people have been saying they like this game coz it's a port of the Neo Geo game and if you want old skool Neo Geo then you might like it. I don't know much about them so I'll go off their word, but here's why I don't like it. My biggest gripe is you can't strafe, you can only shoot forward so you have to be facing the enemy. This is fine with one or two enemies, but when several attack you at once, some shooting multiple bullets/arrows, you can't run and gun. You have to run and dodge and wait wait for a brief moment to turn and get off one shot, two if you're lucky. Then repeat until each enemy is dead and hope you don't take too much damage in the meantime. So common encounters of low level enemies become frustrating, especialy as most are bullet sponges taking about 6 shots each. The controls are slow and lumbering. It feels like even moving out of the way of an arrow is harder than it should be. The combat doesn't feel satisfying at all and I only played level 1 but it wa...

When this game was first released onto steam I wanted to give it a shot. The art looked alright and the crude humor seemed entertaining. Sadly I haven't even been able to get past the second level. The combat is baffling. While there's nothing wrong with color coded attacks making them go at a snail's pace doesn't help. More often than not you'll try attacking a red enemy just to have a blue enemy shamble in frony of them in the ages it takes your projectile to reach them. The enemies also are damage sponges yet you die in just a few hits which is no fun, especially when it's paired with a lack of a dependable checkpoint system. Maybe they were trying to give it a classic type of difficulty but it just doesn't work with how the game plays. I wish I would've waited before buying this game.

Great arcade feelings --- (How can people write a review when they played less than 1 hour ?)