Well, it is a very accurate title for this game, I will give it that. Silly, funny and quite disturbing take on capitalism where you milk your human herd to attempt to stave off the mafia before your inevitable bankruptcy and / or murder. As a management game, it's damn hard but it is pretty much a one-trick heifer, so keep maximising your milk and you should be ok. But if you're looking for a serious game, mooooove on
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About This Game
You play as a weathered farmer—a reluctant hero—tending to your herd of Lactomans. These peculiar creatures, genetically engineered to produce ultra-nutritious milk, are humanity's last lifeline. They shuffle about with vacant expressions, their udders perpetually swollen. You can't help but see the resemblance to modern office workers—drained, overworked, and utterly detached.
The Lactoman Hierarchy
1. Lactomans Nature: Plain and unassuming, they churn out milk like clockwork. Their monotonous existence mirrors the assembly line employees who toil away in soulless factories.
2. Strawberry Lactomans: These pink-hued lactomans produce strawberry-flavored milk. Your corporate overlords market it as a "premium blend," but really, it's just a gimmick—the same old milk with a dash of artificial flavoring. Sound familiar? It should.
3. Chocolate Lactomans: Dark and mysterious, these Lactomans yield rich chocolate milk. They're the company's golden geese—the ones who get promotions and corner offices. But deep down, they're just as exploited as the rest.
4. Golden Lactomans: The pinnacle of genetic engineering! These rare beasts produce liquid gold—literally. Their milk is sold to the highest bidder at exorbitant prices. Your scientist friend in the lab takes perverse pride in creating these absurd creatures—because nothing says "capitalism gone mad" like turning living beings into cash cows.
Your Allies
1. Lab Buddy: Your eccentric lab buddy tinkers with Lactoman DNA, pushing boundaries and ethics alike. He's convinced that one day he'll create a lactose-intolerant Lactoman just to mess with the system.
2. Seed Merchant: Your other friend runs a quaint seed shop—a sanctuary from corporate madness. He peddles seeds for crops that no longer exist outside your hameau (that's French for "hamlet"). Prices fluctuate wildly because he scavenges them from irradiated wastelands where mutated flora sprout like twisted dreams.
The Taxman Cometh
Every ten days, the local mobsters—decked out in tattered suits and gas masks—arrive at your doorstep demanding their cut. They call it "protection money." You know better; it's extortion wrapped in radioactive irony. Pay up or face consequences worse than nuclear fallout.
Gameplay Mechanics
- Milking Rituals: Milk your Lactomans (they don't seem to mind) and sell their precious liquid at the market.
- Seed Cultivation: Plant bizarre seeds and watch them grow into mutant crops—because regular carrots are so passé.
- Upgrade yours Lactomans: Experiment to try to increase your productivity.
- Survive: Try to survive despite the local underworld and their ever-increasing taxes
Satirical Themes
"Human Milk Seller" skewers corporate culture, consumerism, and our obsession with productivity. It's a humorous take on how capitalism milks us dry while promising us happiness
Screenshots
User Reviews
THIS IS NOT WHAT YAKUB WOULD'VE WANTED!!! What the hell have I stumbled upon, I think it must be some inside joke between like 4 people halfway across the world., it is a surreal feeling to be bailed out by Madeline from Celeste after the human prostitute milk mafia is threatening me for giving the women too much weed. Overall 7.8/10 too much water
System Requirements
Minimum
- OS: 10
- Processor: Intel core I3
- Memory: 1 GB RAM
- Graphics: Nvidia GTX750
- Storage: 150 MB available space
Recommended
- OS: 11
- Processor: Intel core I7
- Memory: 2 GB RAM
- Graphics: Nvidia RTX4080
- Storage: 150 MB available space
FAQ
How much does Human Milk Seller cost?
Human Milk Seller costs $2.99.
What are the system requirements for Human Milk Seller?
Minimum: Minimum: OS: 10 Processor: Intel core I3 Memory: 1 GB RAM Graphics: Nvidia GTX750 Storage: 150 MB available space Recommended: Recommended: OS: 11 Processor: Intel core I7 Memory: 2 GB RAM Graphics: Nvidia RTX4080 Storage: 150 MB available space
What platforms is Human Milk Seller available on?
Human Milk Seller is available on Windows PC, Linux.
Is Human Milk Seller worth buying?
Human Milk Seller has 100% positive reviews from 3 players.
When was Human Milk Seller released?
Human Milk Seller was released on Apr 1, 2024.
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